Feb
4
Written by:
maddy
Saturday, February 04, 2012 9:42 PM

On 22/01/2012 the clouds ranged across the harbour and sky.
I am blessed. Sixteen and a half years ago I met a wonderful soulmate, and we are together still. We continue to bring each other much healing and joy as our journey unfolds.
What then, to have my inner life turned upside down by another incredibly deep connection! An amazing experience in itself, it rearranged my world. Like losing gravity, or being in one of those places on Earth where the compass spins. Many usual points of reference vanished.
I have seen enough people go through this kind of disorientation to know that one must simply Be with it, until clarity comes. It always does, eventually.
Knowing that whatever I resist will persist, I consciously chose to embrace the experience rather than fight it. To observe and feel my emotions, think my thoughts, however unacceptable I might find them. To ask myself the terrifying questions because they were there, waiting, insisting that I face them.
Most of all, I chose to keep connecting to my deepest knowing about the truth of Who I Am and how I choose to Be, moment by moment. To create myself and my life consciously, rather than react, knee-jerk style. To wait for clarity until I could choose.
I am happy with my creation and it becomes more beautiful as it unfurls each day.
It has been the most exquisitely wonderful and difficult experience. I have found depths to myself I didn't know existed. I have remembered, and continue to remember more about the reasons and reality of my being here on Earth than I ever thought to ask to know. And it is good. It makes such sense.
So here's the part I want to share with you.
I have realised that it is not possible for me – or you for that matter – to love any one person more than another. Each of us loves everyone equally, according to our ability to carry and express love. Absolutely everyone. Whether we like them or not.
'Like' and 'love' are not the same thing and do not necessarily go together. So when I say 'love' I am not talking about ooshy-gooshy lovey-dovey feelings, although that is what we often associate with this oh so loaded and misrepresented word.
So what do I mean then, when I say that I love all equally? This huge experience of the last month or so has literally opened my heart wide, most of all to myself. I have realised that I deeply love all, beginning and ending with the One whom I see as the small sorrel-headed woman in the mirror. Because she is just one facet of the diamond, one of the All. I Am One, I Am All, and I Am one of the All too.
As much as I love myself, I love all others. As much as you love yourself, you love all others. There is no difference – that which is without, is within. Look clearly at how you love others then, and you will see exactly how you love yourself.
Unless I forget that I Am Love, I see each person as Love incarnate also. As God in a body. Even more, as Me! I recognise my connection and sameness with everyone, that they are me and I am them.
I love all. Deeply and completely.
Only the expression of my love changes, and that depends upon who is receiving it. For example, if I express my love for the dear people I work with in the same way that I express my love for my best friend they'd find it upsetting, even threatening. I could do it, but it would not be understood. And so because I love those people, I find ways to express my love to them that they find acceptable. That's what Love does.
Love also always loves itself first, so that it remains whole and useful to those it serves. It knows that actions which make another happy at its own expense create resentment in the long run, and so it avoids this trap.
What Love does not do, is to say 'Well this person must have the most love, and then this person can have almost as much, and this one can have a bit less', and so on. No. Love… loves. That is all it can do, and there is no capacity to limit or regulate Love. Love is completely free and unfettered, and has no reason to withhold anything.
It has been something of a shock to realise this. It will likely seem strange for me to say, but I have had to release the idea that I must love my life partner more than everyone else. I've had to realise that this is in fact an impossibility!
I only get to choose how I express the depths of my love for him - or for anyone. End of story. And I can hold and express just as much love for others. Because that is the truth of Who I Am.
I don't live this perfectly all the time. I'll spend my life exploring it. That's what we're here for! But I wanted to share it with you.
All my love to you
ensyth-maddy
PS: If you'd like help to create positive change in your life, ensyth and I would love to work with you. Feel free to contact us for a session, in person or via Skype. With love!
4 comment(s) so far...
Re: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whom do I love most of all?
Naturally, I looked at you photo collection before I changed my focus for your words.
I seem to be campaigning for more appropriate perspectives. There is so much talk/energy about issuing in a new era of human consciousness, and yet, I observe many holding on to linear vantage points. Your world could not possibly be "turned upside down". Yeh! Sure! An incoming force could most certainly change your orbit; perhaps even modify your rate of spin.
I believe there are parallels between the physical and metaphysical. For example - Gravity and love; both powerful forces of attraction, aren't they? Fear has a pull, also. Kinda like a black hole.
Simple choice: love or fear.
By Sammi Law on
Friday, February 10, 2012 8:42 PM
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Re: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whom do I love most of all?
Right you are Sammi, and I have written in a linear idiom, although as we both know, experience is often hard to accurately capture in words. Besides, the moment I write it and you read it, it's yours anyway, no longer mine. You're the Observer after all.
For me, in this unfolding experience the simple choice was indeed simple. It just wasn't easy.
Thanks for your thoughts.
By maddy on
Friday, February 10, 2012 8:42 PM
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Re: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whom do I love most of all?
Oh Maddy, I love what you wrote! Especially the line "Each of us loves everyone equally, according to our ability to carry and express love. Absolutely everyone. Whether we like them or not." I get that. I use to think an "I love you" was dependent on their capacity to *receive*, and so I would seek out open hearted souls. Now I see it flowing through me anyway, and flowing through them anyway, regardless, regardless, regardless. Thanks for your insights and honesty. I'm so happy for you in this experience. Much love. xxx
By Alys Titchener on
Friday, February 17, 2012 9:22 AM
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Re: Mirror, mirror, on the wall, whom do I love most of all?
Thank you dear Aly, we are all remembering so much about love as we go. There's nothing to learn, only to remember. Most of all, that We Are Love, and that there is nothing else.
love love
By maddy on
Friday, February 17, 2012 9:23 AM
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